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I haven’t realized that my old blog still exists! And it wasn’t so much of the nuggets of memories that brought back waves of nostalgia, but more of strange bewilderment at having written all those words that are cringe worthy and so unlike me (now).

But anyway, one post certainly struck me.

“And it all started, my trip down the old and lovely memory lane. And this otherwise empty night was strangely aching with nostalgia, with moments relived and smiles aplenty. The comforts of familiarity, complete with once-on-repeated-mode melodies that tug at my heart strings, reminiscing the past has never been more bittersweet. In the sense that as we busy ourselves with heaps of commitments and work, people hardly have the time to sit down in the quiet night, get their senses heightened, and think about things that are safely tucked away at the corner. And I hurriedly swallowed the lump in my throat, being the old sentimental me I thought I lost, and looked back into the past with renewed strength and strange revelation. Because I used to miss the past too much it became an anchor holding me back, but now I’m just smiling and grateful for things that happened and people that entered my life. And revelation in that I have been so caught up in my present circumstances I neglected my extra capacity to care, and acknowledge. As time blurs the jagged edges of vivid moments and casts a fog of vagueness over them, I just hope my memory doesn’t fail me, and my heart still knows how to feel.”

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Live life

I want to fly to Brazil and attend Rock the Rio concert. I want to be at Ushuaia in Argentina, the southernmost city in the world. I want to take a road trip down the roads of America, blast the music and sing my heart out. I want to lie on the sands of Bora Bora and watch the turquoise waters beneath my feet. I want to experience life like I’ve never had, because this is what life is supposed to be.

On good things

Good things should be hard to come by, so that people will learn to appreciate what they have.

And I’m lucky to have you.

On a super whiny and self-pity note, I can’t seem to make the people I care about feel good.

Sigh.

You make me skip a beat today.

Damaged

I know I’m kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don’t always say, what’s on my mind
You know that I’ve been hurt, by some guy
But I don’t wanna mess up this time

[bridge]
And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I’m kinda scared
Cos I don’t want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It’s nothing to you

My heart’s at a low
I’m so much to manage
I think you should know that
I’ve been damaged
I’m falling in love
There’s one disadvantage
I think you should know that I’ve been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don’t wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you’re all mine
I’m a little paranoid, from what I’ve been through
Don’t know what you got yourself into

Frequency

I love walking away from a conversation feeling all emotionally and intellectually satisfied. Especially with a good friend you can connect with and bare your soul at.

So many little dark secrets unravelled tonight, but all in the name of fun and friendship. Haha.